Thursday, February 28, 2008


Aren’t you glad Sarah laughed? I am. It makes me feel a whole lot better some times. In fact not only did she laugh, she then turned around and lied about it. But it didn’t stop the promise. I love her response – Now? Now you want to bless me? Now you want to give me what I have been longing for, aching for, and dying for, for so many years – so long that I had given up hope of ever seeing it – Now? Now that I am as good as dead, have been given away by my husband twice, watched him have a child with another woman in front of my eyes, NOW you want to bless me with the promise?

I think I understand how she feels. I mean have you ever wanted to ask God if He is out of His mind or what on earth He is thinking? You hope and yearn and believe Him for something and at first you are really strong and confident about it, but then time wears on, and trials begin to hit, and hit …and hit. You look to the horizon for the promise but to your horror it looks even farther away than it did at the beginning. People begin to speak over you to give up, it will never happen. They remind you of all the ways you have messed up, all of your failures and everything you’re not, how you didn’t have the right attitude all of the time, the things you said wrong, the people you pissed off, and how in general you might as well consider it “game over”. Your confidence wanes, your grip loosens on what you were holding onto so strongly. Maybe you do like Abraham and Sarah and take matters into your own hands and end up bearing an Ishmael. In fact you look around you and you have to admit, it would have been difficult to make a bigger mess of things. You get depressed, and can even get to the place to where, like Sarah, you have given up entirely. You tell yourself you don’t even care anymore and almost believe you.

And then God sends an angel into your life and says NOW!


Alma said...

Hi! Was just blog surfing and came across your inspiring blog. I admire your faith and your biblical knowledge. I wish I could be like you.

voixd'ange said...

I'm glad you like the blog. I hope I am able to put more time into it soon.
As for being like me - I'm just a pilgrim making my way home.