Sunday, September 22, 2013

Today I am so tired. Today, I don't want to be a foster parent. I want to be someone else. I don't want to be a punching bag for a child whose only mode of communication is relentless anger. I don't want to be responsible for the mental health of children who have been tortured, deprived, abandoned and abused in inconceivable way, first by birth parents, only to be handed over to ruthless people who are in it for the check. I don't want to live around people who shoot to kill.
I don't want to drive by boarded up buildings, too numerous to count. I don't want to be asked to wash my car windows for change, or to pay for a child to bang out a beat on a plastic bucket, and I sure as hell don't want to be forced to see someone's ass hanging out of their pants.
Today, I am so tired.
I don't want to drive 20 minutes to the grocery store, and I don't want to buy gas at a station with a variety of blunts taped to the window. I don't want to slip my money through the drawer or the carousel of bullet proof glass.
Today I am tired. So tired.

2 comments:

David Nelson said...

I wish I could say, "Here, I have the answer for you, I have a better and safer place for you to live. Look, beautiful green hills and lovely blue lakes just for you.
Since I do not, I can remind you in your fatigue, a better place is coming for us...it is perfect.

voixd'ange said...

Thank you David for all the things you were wise enough not to say, and all the things you did. :)